finally realising that maybe i have always liked him but i was just to scared to admit it for all this time..

its weird realising how quickly a person can get over things.. and how easy it is to just move on in life.

and once again, there is only one.

how is it possible to find a guy exactly like my ex..
starts off sweet, caring and fun.. and turns into a possessive, arrogant, controlling, obsessive child! and suddenly i need to get my priorities straight? i’m the one being mean to him? GO TO HELL.  

don’t want to pack my bags, don’t want to leave home.
i want to stay right here right now, and forget whats all gone wrong. 

seeing them together made me realise what i’m missing…

somethings get totally blown out of proportion.
some times people don’t allow you the time and space to be still and think.
some people don’t understand the pains of every day life.

there’s two sides to every story. two different tales to be told.
so before you judge depending on one opinion, listen to the other. don’t start something you can not finish. never make assumptions when you do not have all the facts.

sometimes people underestimate the damage they can do with just a few words.

to suffocate;
- to kill or destroy by preventing access of air or oxygen.

its come to having to turn my phone onto silent so i don’t have to hear it’s endless buzzing, ignoring the ceaseless flashing of my tired blackberry and refusing to look at the ever growing amount of texts.
sometimes i want to have time for me. time where i can switch my phone off and breath. having a day to relax and think only of myself; is that unreasonable? I’m a person not a possession and i need space to breath. but instead, i feel like i’m being strangled. i can’t shut myself away without being found by someone.

day in, day out. same routine.
where’s the excitement in that? 

don’t get me wrong, i love my him so much but i’ll never be in love with him.. i don’t even believe that anyone can be “in love” with another. but when i see some guys, sometimes i wish they’d kiss me. i wish they’d grab me and tell me they want me.. i want excitement. this can’t be my one greatest love. i just know it’s not. there must be something more…

unconventionally we had valentine’s day a day early which was convenient but not exactly romantic.. i wanted to be surprised in some romantic way or swept off my feet. instead it was as if we lost the whole day all together. everyone else is celebrating with their boyfriends/partners and i’m sat in my room watching Pretty In Pink.

valentine’s day sucks.

some moments allow you to have a glimpse at perfection. my guy was too excited to wait till valentines day to give me one of my presents so i had to open it 2 days early! he was like a kid on christmas day and didn’t stop smiling. as for the gift, it was perfect.
and that was one of those moments when i looked at him and thought, thank you god for letting me have such an amazing person in my life. because that’s what he is… amazing.